


Relax, Relapse

by artificialghoul



Series: A Therapeutic Chain of Events [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hide lost his memories after Anteiku, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialghoul/pseuds/artificialghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a while since Haise and Hide began meeting for lunch, and Hide's memories still haven't returned. Not that he minds, really. He's been discharged from the hospital, he has a place to live, and the CCG called to offer him another job. He's excited to tell his new friend the good news, but Haise's reaction isn't quite what he expected.</p><p>Hide doesn't understand why Haise is so opposed to him returning to the CCG. Then he hears a rumor about an investigator who lost control during a mission, and things start to click into place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relax, Relapse

“They did _what?”_

“Yeah, I was surprised too! But that’s what happened! Apparently I was good at my job before, whatever I was doing, because they offered me another position. They said they don’t even mind training me again.” Hide laughs easily and rubs the back of his neck, trying to lighten the mood. He can sense the tension radiating from Haise, though he doesn’t understand the sudden shift in his friend’s mood.

One minute, they’d been happily chatting away during one of their regular lunch dates. Hide brought up his new apartment, and Haise had beamed at him and told him they’d have to have their next meeting at Hide’s place. And then Hide brought up the job offer he’d received yesterday, and Haise instantly stiffened.

Now the investigator is staring into his black coffee, hands clenching in his lap, jaw tight, and Hide doesn’t understand why.

“Hey, if you’re worried about me or something, I’ll be fine!” Hide tries to reassure him. “I’ll be in Division Two. So, no frontline work for me! I’ll be safe behind a desk. The worst thing that could happen to me on the job is a papercut!” Hide laughs.

Haise doesn’t.

“Is something wrong?” Hide asks gently. Obviously something is wrong.

Haise blinks, then glances up at Hide. He forces an awkward smile and brushes his fingers across his chin. “No, nothing’s wrong! I’m glad for you! This is a great opportunity!”

Hide sighs, leaning back in his chair, but he decides not to push the issue. Though he’s only known his friend for a few weeks, he's quickly learned to read Haise’s habits. Hide knows that no matter what he said, Haise wouldn’t talk to him unless he was ready.

“At least maybe we’ll run into each other, right? I mean, since we’ll be working in the same building now. It’ll be nice to already know someone there,” Hide tries a different approach. Haise stiffens again and Hide knows his attempt has backfired.

“Sorry, I just remembered something I have to get done. I -- I need to go,” Haise stutters, standing abruptly from their table. His hip bumps into the edge in his rush, knocking it hard enough to cause some coffee to splash out of his cup. “S-sorry.”

The handful of customers in the coffee shop are looking over now, and Hide can tell Haise is growing more uncomfortable by the second. “Don’t worry about it,” he assures his friend with a grin. “I’ll get it.”

Haise frowns, but nods sheepishly. He picks up his bag, and after another moment of hesitation, he’s gone.

Hide sighs and wipes down the small spill with the napkin that had come with his lunch, and finishes the rest of his meal alone.

* * *

 

That meeting had been just over two weeks ago. Since then, Hide had gotten settled into his job at the CCG, and Haise seemed to have gotten used to the idea. Not exactly comfortable with it. But, he’d accepted it, at least. Their daily meetings had resumed again without an issue, much to Hide’s pleasure.

At their last meeting, Haise had warned Hide that the Mado Squad was heading out today on a lead, and might not be back for lunch. He’d shuffled his feet, looking like he didn’t want to leave.

Hide had waved his hands and assured him it was fine, they’d just meet again the next day. But something was eating at Haise, and Hide knew it wasn’t just the mission. When Haise didn’t answer his texts that night, or the next morning, Hide knew he’d been right to worry.

Hide wasn’t high enough in the CCG pecking order to have access to the kind of information he wanted, but there were other ways to find out high security information than reading the official documents. Namely, eating lunch in the cafeteria.

He brought a book with him -- one of the many Haise had tried to get him to read -- and picked an empty table near a bunch of rowdy, talkative field agents. Five minutes later, he knew he'd chosen his spot well.

“Did you hear what happened with the Mado Squad yesterday?” a burly guy with short cropped hair is trying to whisper to the agent next to him.

“You mean with that weird new investigator?” his friend replies.

“Yeah,” the first guy adds. “I heard that guy went nuts during the mission, totally lost it, turned on his squad.”

“What?” a third agent exclaims. “Why would he do that?”

The burly man shrugs. “You haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?” the third man demands irritably.

The burly man leans in, pausing for dramatic effect. “They say that guy’s actually a ghoul.”

“No way,” a fourth agent grumbles. “The CCG wouldn’t let a ghoul be an investigator.”

“He’s a special case!” the first man argues. “He was a human that was turned into a ghoul by some mad doctor. I guess they figured he could be useful. But apparently that’s backfired on them now, right?”

“If that’s what happened,” the second man cut in, “they should just kill him and be done with it. If he’s a ghoul, he’s dangerous. He shouldn’t be here.”

Murmurs of agreement pass through the group, and Hide’s stomach lurches. He snaps his book closed, unable to listen any more.

No wonder Haise hadn’t wanted him at the CCG. He didn’t want Hide to know. He thought Hide would leave him if he knew. Hide’s heart sinks, heavy in his chest. He has to let Haise know that he was wrong -- that Hide wasn’t going anywhere. He rushes back to his desk to pull out his phone, typing a quick message.

_haise~!! wanna meet up at that new cafe a few blocks away after work? i heard some of the guys here talking about how good their coffee is, thought you might wanna check it out!_

He slips his phone back into his pocket and waits, flicking his pen back and forth in his fingers. He tries to concentrate on his work, but the longer his phone remains still and silent in his pocket, the more restless he becomes.

When an hour passes with no reply, he pulls out the device and types out another message.

_rabbits can die of loneliness you know!!_

He shoves the phone unceremoniously back into his pocket, and decides that whether Haise replies or not, he’s stopping by that man’s apartment after work.

* * *

 

Haise never replies.

Not that Hide is surprised. Haise had a bad habit of retreating into himself and shutting everyone else out when he was upset. And if what Hide heard over lunch was true, Haise was probably plenty upset.

Which is why Hide showed up at Haise’s apartment bearing gifts of fancy coffee, and he was absolutely _not_ going to leave until he got his friend to smile. He knocks on the door, bouncing lightly on his feet and listening for the sounds of movement from inside. Finally, the lock clicks, and the door swings open.

Haise looks terrible.

That's the first thing Hide thinks when his friend appears in the doorway. His hair is in disarray, sticking out in all directions like he hadn’t bothered to comb it. There are dark circles under his eyelids -- darker than usual -- and he's dressed in baggy clothes that hang off his body. Hide can’t help but wonder if he’d slept at all the night before.

“You shouldn’t be here, Hide,” Haise warns, but steps aside to let Hide pass.

The door clicks shut behind him, and Hide takes in his surroundings. Haise’s apartment seems nothing like it had the last time he’d visited. The curtains are all drawn shut, stray coffee mugs litter the counter, and multiple open books are strewn across the room.

Haise wanders back into the living room and plops himself down on the couch. There is a fresh mug of coffee sitting on the table in front of him, and he picks it up to take a sip, glancing back at Hide as he does so.

“I was worried about you!” Hide begins. He kicks off his shoes and shuffles over to take a seat next to Haise, who flinches when the cushions dip under Hide’s weight. “I heard you didn’t come to work today.”

Haise frowns and sets the mug back on the table. “I… Akira gave me some time off.”

“Well, I was worried, so I brought you a gift!” Hide exclaims, holding up the bag of coffee. “The clerk told me this was the good stuff, so hopefully he was right!”

“You didn’t have to,” Haise says, sounding almost sad.

“I wanted to!” Hide replies quickly. “That’s what friends do, right?”

At that, Haise’s expression falls. He turns away, trying to hide his reaction. Hide frowns. So he’d been right. Haise _ha_ d been worried that Hide wouldn’t want to be his friend if he found out about… who he was.

Hide chews his lip, wondering how to broach the topic. Haise certainly isn’t going to do it himself. Hide would have to take the first leap. He scratches his cheek, smiling sadly at his friend.

“I heard that your squad’s last mission didn’t go so well,” he says softly.

Haise’s eyes widen, and his fist tightens in his clothes until his knuckles turn white. “Then why are you here?” he whispers, voice hard and biting.

Hide forces himself not to flinch. “You’re my friend," he tries gently.

Haise laughs, a bitter sound, nothing like the gentle, clear laughter Hide had grown to love. “Aren’t you afraid?”

Hide meets his eyes, urging him to see the truth in his words when he answers, “Why would I be?”

Haise’s eyes are wide, and the way he looks at Hide makes Hide think that he isn’t really seeing him. Haise’s hands drift up to his hair, fisting on either side of his head. He leans forward over his knees, voice shaking with panic. “Because I’m not -- I’m not _human_. And -- I didn’t want you to know that I -- that I’m a --”

“Hey, don’t worry about it!” Hide interrupts with a grin. He reachs out to grasp Haise’s shoulder. “I don’t care about that.”

Haise stares, features slack with shock, then shakes his head. He turns, leaning away from Hide’s touch, hands falling down to clutch at his sides. “You should go.”

Hide leans closer, maintaining his grip on Haise’s shoulder. He isn’t going to let his friend deal with this alone. “Haise, I --”

Haise turns, and their faces are suddenly inches apart. Hide can feel Haise’s trembling breaths across his face, can see the tears threatening to overflow in his friends eyes. And he can see the vulnerability there. The fear that now that Hide knew what he was, he’d leave him alone again.

Another breath ghosts across Hide’s lips, and he licks them automatically. Haise’s eyes flit down to look, then back up at Hide’s eyes. His cheeks flush pink. Hide’s eyes widen. _Oh_.

He licks his lips again, and glances at Haise’s. They’re parted, shaking breaths still slipping free, and they look warm and soft. Hide wants to find out what they’d feel like pressed against his own. So he lets his eyes slip shut and closes the distance between them.

The world freezes. Everything around Hide stops, and all that he remains are the pounding of his own heart in his ears and the soft pressure of Haise’s lips against his.

And then the realization of what he’s done sets in, and he feels his face flush with heat. He pulls back, sputtering an apology, but before the first words leave his throat, Haise’s fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his skull, and he feels himself pulled back towards the other man and -- oh.

Their lips meet again and this time Hide melts. He leans into his friend, one hand slipping around Haise’s shoulders, and the other reaching up to cup his cheek. Haise’s fingers tighten their grip in his hair, and Hide lets out a small groan.

Haise’s lips press harder against his, tilting his head, and Hide feel like he’s floating. A burning heat builds in his gut, and his heart beats so loud he’s certain Haise can hear it. And then Haise’s arm wraps around his waist and pulls him even closer, and he’s pressed against Haise’s muscular chest and Hide thinks he could die now and his life would be complete.

Haise moves his lips against Hide’s and another groan escapes the back of his throat, and this time Haise’s mouth slips open to catch it. And then his tongue is pressing against Hide’s lips and Hide arches his neck and lets him in and the feeling makes him shudder.

Hide slides a hand down Haise’s neck, down his shoulder, down his side to fist in the fabric at Haise’s waist, and now it’s Haise’s turn to groan and press harder against Hide, and suddenly Hide’s hands can’t stop moving, searching for more spots that elicit the same reaction.

He finds one at the base of Haise’s spine, drawing a breathy moan from Haise when his fingers trace along the curve of his back. He presses his fingers there and Haise shivers, fingers tightening in Hide’s skin.

Haise’s hand trails down Hide’s arm to find Hide’s, and when their fingers entwine, Haise squeezes tight, holding on like a lifeline. Hide’s heart swells until he feels like it will burst, because nothing has ever felt so _right_ as this moment, pressed against Haise, feeling his heartbeat beneath his skin and his breath against his lips. Hide feels like he belongs, like his whole life has been building up to this moment. It feels like coming home.

When they finally part, breathless, lips swollen, Hide can’t hide his grin, and he doesn’t want to try.

Because Haise is smiling at him, and their fingers are still tangled together, and that’s all that matters in this moment. And when Haise's eyes meet his, Hide knows he feels the same.

**Author's Note:**

> I said I wasn't gonna write any more in this universe for a while but obviously that was a lie. Oops. I'm kind of stuck here and I can't think about anything else but this AU. ~~Also ehehehe I've never written a make-out session before so hopefully it turned out okay.~~


End file.
